once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
So I don’t know if you knew but there are these new mouthwash bottles.
And when you squeeze the bottle the top fills up.
And no more will come out.
So here’s my proposition…
YOU WILL NEVER NEED A SHOT GLASS AGAIN
YOUR MOVE ALCOHOL INDUSTRY
they should replace hospital gowns with colourful mexican ponchos because they’re kinda similar and no one could be sad
if we’re gonna die let’s die looking like a peruvian folk band
Still my favorite post ever.
Dolphins are straight up murdering to get high dolphins are piece of shit
"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids
18-19 are good ages because even though you’re technically an adult you’re also technically still a teenager too. you can still blend in and be like. greetings, fellow teens. what’s up. what’s shaking. what’s the word
opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples
everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant
the bags under my eyes are as dark as the inside of Hollister